Musings of a Muse

So Gene Simmons has been whoring himself on telly lately….This is off the topics of cosmetics so you might want to turn away while I babble vintage rock.

I couldn’t sleep last night so around 3 am I found myself sitting up in bed with my ultra awesome sweetest softest blanket from Bath and Body Works (I love that thing) and powering up the Tivo to catch up on Ugly Betty. It’s been weeks since the last episode and I just now got the chance to have a watch!

Much to my delight Gene Simmons popped up during the last 2 minutes of the show. Dontcha love that Gene Simmons whores himself all over TV lately? Celebrity Apprentice, Ugly Betty, Family Guy, and even SpongeBob Square Pants!

You think maybe 30 years ago Gene Simmons thought to himself “Hey when I’m 60 I think I’ll lend my ultra awesome voice to a kids show about a Sponge that lives under the sea in a pineapple! ROCK ON!” Or even better yet wouldn’t it be awesome to hear Gene sing the theme song? Holy cow I’d rock out to that.

Anyway.

Gene also has his own reality show on A&E called Family Jewels. As I watch Gene and his slightly dysfunctional family the thought crosses my mind of how the mighty have fallen! I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that Gene Simmons, God of Rock, has a reality show. Wow. Just Wow.

I think I was 5 and my cousin Joe, was about 17 or 18 and he’d pump up KISS on his very low end car stereo (the height of technology in our hay day) in his pimp’ed up Monte Carlo. Yup, my cousin was the Fonz. That’s right. He drove a pimp daddy, deep red Monte Carlo, wore a leather jacket, and had all the girls swooning at his feet. To this day my dad always looks back on Joe with fond memories and is in awe that he’s a family man now! Who would have thought all the grease in his head would lead to a beautiful wife and kids (sadly he doesn’t have much hair left to grease which the Muse is fond of reminding him of).

Anyway my deep appreciation for vintage rock is due to him I guess. Mostly my blog stems from the fact that I miss Joe alot lately (he hasn’t been doing so well but that’s a story for another day).

As I was watching Gene Simmons wag his tongue around on Ugly Betty last night I couldn’t help but think it would crack Joe up that this is where Gene Simmons has ended up circa 2008!

The moral of the story is we love you Gene but less cheese and more rock please! You’re killing your image!

If you’re any kind of a fan of KISS you might be tickled to know that it appears the writers of Ugly Betty have even infiltrated Paul Stanley as he’ll be on the show too shortly! Lord…what is the world coming too?

I’m predicting the future and I’m seeing Paul and Gene on Home Shopping Network next year selling anti wrinkle cream that goes on white and black and gives you the alluring charm of the Demon or the Starchild! I can’t wait till I’m 60 so I can buy it

Discuss (I imagine everyone is thinking shut up get on with the cosmetics already!)?

I saw Avon’s new blush in the latest issue of Bazaar Magazine (Avon in Bazaar? I know right? What the hell!?).

The blush in question is entitled Horizon Blush and is designed by Jillian Dempsey. A long time ago, in a land far away Jillian Dempsey was actually a leading firgure for Deluxe Cosmetics (remember that brand?) but more importantly, dig this, Jillian Dempsey is married to Patrick Dempsey. Who would’ve have guessed? Sure they share the same last name but I didn’t know this was his wife (it could be because that I’m in denial he’s married with kids as I still have that beautiful fantasy of me running around Seattle Grace in a naughty nurse uniform while he chases me around with a syringe in one hand and a can of whipped cream in the other!)

I’m thinking to myself that it can’t be too fun around that house. I mean how does she introduce herself? Hello I’m Jillian, yes my husband is McDreamy and I work for Avon. Ouch. Jillian, honey, quit Avon or let the Muse have McDreamy for her very own!

In all seriousness Jillian has some redeeming qualities, one of which happens to be the new blush she created for Avon! Thanks Jillian you aren’t at the level of McDreamy but you’re slowly gaining speed!

The Muse likes this blush because it reminds her of the Solar Duo Blush that was released for the Body Shop Summer Collection last year! Sadly the Muse only has one of the two colors released from that collection as she broke one when it fell off her vanity! Twas a sad sad day! But now I have these new blushes from Avon to invest my time (and money) into and maybe they can replace my gorgeous Solar Duo Blushes!

The blush is available in two shades of peach and pink. These are gradation blushes that can be applied for a sheer wash of color or build up for intensity. One end holds a light side and one end holds a darker side of each color.

So…these are $7.99 USD (I know, not what you’d expect from a lady married to the 7 million dollar man but hey a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!) and I’m questioning how pigmented they can be but I must remind myself that Avon had shocked my socks off a few months ago with it’s rather awesome Cynthia Rowley Collection (Missed my review? Click here to read up)!

I think I want these (minus the cheap brush they come with! Thanks very much!). Count these on the Muse’s wish list! I’m going to give Jillian a try and maybe I can think up a rather clever nick for her while I’m at it hmmm McMakeup? McAvon? McBlush?

Want these?
Curious?

Tell the Muse!

I read about the Koda Kumi gossip on a blog a few days ago but Iris from Rouge Deluxe has reported on it as well!

If you haven’t yet noticed Visee’s website has been down the past few days and it’s all do to problems with it’s spokesmodel, Koda Kumi!

If you’re not familiar with Koda Kumi she’s a Japanese pop star and of course the model image for Kose’s Visee line!

I won’t go into details about what happened with her as you can click your way over to Iris and read the details for yourself!

I will however say that I don’t think what was said was meant in an ill or mean spirited manner. I guess she thought she was being very “scientific” but it came out completely wrong! However, she’s cost Kose (and herself I imagine) a ton of money! You’d think she’d have known better then to say something like that! I’m wondering what Kose is planning to do with the new line up that just released?! New spokesmodel?

Anyway! Thought you might find it of interest if you live stateside and haven’t heard about it and happen to be a fan of Visee or Koda Kumi!

Discuss?

I want to bury my head in the Egyptian sands after watching this video!

I really love KT Tunstall. She’s honestly a very talented singer but damn she totally murdered this song!

I’m just somewhat happy they got the whistling part right at least……! I’m gonna go wash m ears out with soap now.

Remember kids there is a valuable lesson to be learned here: Never sing “Walk Like an Egyptian” acoustic!

Am I too brutal? I dunno…maybe….but damn if it didn’t sound bad to my ears!

The Muse’s two cents:

Bangles with an S. As in plural. As in a group of chicks singing a song. Why KT Tunstall thought she could pull off all the lyrics on her own with two other girls doing the “o e o” solo is beyond me!

Cosmetics will return shortly but now a word from our sponsor…….

Wow. That’s really the only word that comes to mind when I heard that New Kids on the Block are regrouping and rejoining the pop civilization as we know it. Wow.

This both scares and embarrasses me.

Would you look at Joey’s hat? The height of fashion circa the 90′s!

This basically means I have to embarrass myself by admitting that I actually loved this group when I was…11…12….13? It’s so long ago I can’t even recall my age how very sad! If you tell anyone about this I’ll deny it in aces!

Prior to discovering what real girly men are made of in Japan I was subjected to the girlish delights of New Kids on the Block (Hey, this isn’t Japan and we have poor imitation girly men here in the states! I just live here don’t blame me!)!

Now where as the Japanese produce idols that are seriously drool worthy we here in the US are subjected to such groups as the long forgotten Jordan, Joey, Danny, Mo, Larry and Curly (I forgot the rest of the names so I just added in the bit about Mo, Larry, and Curly).

Seriously I really did forget their names oh wait one just came to me! Donny! What about Jordan’s brother what’s his name? We can just go around calling him Mo for the remainder of this post!

I remember at first Jordan was the one I cried over (and hyperventilated and fantasized over) and later on I realized that a majority of the female population was actually crying over Joey so I quickly reverted to crying and screaming over Joey since everyone else was doing it and I didn’t want to be the outsider!

I think I was a late bloomer as everyone else was way into our friendly boy band before I was and I remember at the time my best friends Ellen and Kelly having their concert on VHS (VHS is probably before your time kids so go and google it) and it would be some sort of Friday ritual to sit down and watch it. Hell, I can even remember Ellen’s four year old sister dancing around to “Hanging Tough”….ah memories!

So what’s the point of this fine post?

No point! I’m just enjoying taking a trip down memory lane! Actually what I’m enjoying even more is the fact that the potential for funny is definately in this comeback! I need to laugh so bring it on New Kids! I welcome your come back with open arms! I can’t wait to see five grown men regroup and reform a boy band from 100 years ago! This should be awesome!

Hmmm…do you think Mark Wahlberg might consider making a comeback with the Funky Punch and releasing a new CD?

Maybe not. He’s kinda sorta an actor now I think? Only in American can you go from being Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch to Mark Wahlberg, Oscar and Emmy Nominated Actor!

Prior to heading home I leave you with this gem from youTube:

“Donny’s D on the backup drug free so put the crack up”!

What the hell does that even mean…..I think I’ll e-mail Mark before leaving work and ask him about the lyrics!

Oh my god.

I just read this on the news!

Click!

How overwhelmingly sad!

I’m utterly shocked and speechless!

Off the topics of cosmetics temporarily

If you LOVE John Barrowman and Bill Baily as much as me you’ll adore this clip!

That’s my new catch phrase! “Talk to the hand because the wrist is pissed” hehe!

I’m not sure what had me laughing more Bill Baily with his “I ain’t never gonna be your bitch!” (But he never had a problem being Dylan Moran’s bitch now did he?! I crack myself up sometimes!) or John Barrowman completely agreeing with Simon about what a show whore he’s been of late (Dancing with Stars, Buzzcocks, Torchwood, Who, The Weakest Link, Need I go on?)!

For the past few years geeks within the US mourn the fact that Brits get a very special Christmas treat on the 25th.

No idea what they get on Christmas Day? That means you aren’t as dorky as the Muse is either that or you’re saying EASTENDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No it’s not Eastenders. *insert rolling eyes here*

They get a special Christmas episode of Doctor Who on the 25th of December. Damn lucky people. One more reason why the English should rule the Universe.

Since Billie Piper’s sad, sad exit (I’m still crying! I’m actually mourning for the loss of Camille Coduri aka Jackie Tyler more than anything else to be honest! I still say she’d have made a brilliant assistant in all her annoying glory!) from the show we’ve been treated to quite an array of woman traipsing through the Tardis as of late…hell even Catherine Tate and dare I say….Jennifer Saunders (Not as an assistant either my friends! I say no more for fear of ruining the surprise should it happen!).

Well, assistants come and go but the quirk of the Doctor always remains the same thankfully.

And why am I babbling about the good Doctor you might ask?

Yes let’s get to that shall we!

The Muse has scoured the undernet in hopes of locating the Christmas episode (The word on the street is Peter has recorded it for me! You remember Peter don’t you? If you’ve been with the Muse from the start you’ll know who I mean! If not click here and while you’re at it do a search for Peter and you should find a bit of info to appease!)

Well, sadly I haven’t really bothered looking hard enough but the moral of the story is that it’s quite possible that Jared Blandino may have gotten to the very cute Kylie Minogue (I’ve been told he has a special flare for aging the young!).

What.
in the.
World.

I seen the promo images for Voyage of the Damned and I must say they aren’t Kylie’s most flattering! I personally think she’s bloody gorgeous and looking quite suave for her age but whoever did her makeup and hair for the Who episode deserves to be shot down!

Granted the year is 1912, is that the year they said it was good to wash your hair with salad dressing? I can’t recall.

Seriously, her hair is a bird’s nest, rat’s nest, frizz a whizz special or whatever else you choose to call it! She quite looks like she has a wig on (and maybe does! I hope!).

Her makeup is quite ok but it appears they may have run out of concealer for both her and David!

In all seriousness I worship at the feet of David’s alter but god knows he looks much better with a pound of concealer on! I didn’t think anyone could take Tom Baker’s place in my heart as the Doctor but damn if David didn’t. But the sad, sad fact is David is quite pale and freckle laden. Which isn’t a bad thing but I’m so used to seeing the man with a ton of concealer on it’s sometimes shocking to be confronted with his real skin!

And Kylie my god the wrinkles and crow feet are scaring me. Someone hold me.

Did they run out of cash for this episode and couldn’t afford proper make-up artists? And the hair..my god the hair….

Ok so we should take into consideration that this is Doctor Who which means tons of running around after some aliens or creatures and Kylie’s hair probably suffered the consequences during all that action but I will say that Billie Piper never had a bad hair day so why should Kylie?!?!??!

David with his concealer firmly in place!

Kylie needs some help here! The hair, my god the hair! Forget the face for now woman! Do something with her hair! King of Mods maybe?!

David looking very scary minus his concealer and Kylie looking equally awful! Maybe the airbrush on photoshop was brokes!

David minus his concealer again! If I was him I’d sue BBC for posting these on the Internetz for all his adoring fans to see!

Kylie looking very…um….unKylie-like!

David looks ok thankfully but Kylie has had a better day here!

Do click to enlarge some of these because they are seriously scary! Particularly this last one!

Kylie don’t quit your day job love! Thank god Who was a one offer because lord knows it aged you at least 10 years darling!

I apologize in advance for my cruelty but these images just shocked me straight out of my shoes! However, I will say that my schedule is clear if BBC is seeking a new assistant as the Doctor most certainly needs a Muse in the Tardis even if it ages me a a couple of years! I don’t mind, honest, swear, truly! I can live without concealer!

Kylie on a good day:

P.S. Lord knows I’ve dropped to my knees in thanks that John Barrowman didn’t decide to show up for this episode! Can you imagine what they’d do to him? I shiver in fear thinking about it!

Photos of Keira in Vogue making wellies look glamorous!

Bet you can’t pull this off:

Dare say that elephant is looking right proper smart with his Louis Vuitton Accessories!