Do not want your silly subliminal messages e-mails. They piss me off.
Seriously, they make me pissy when I get an e-mail with sale info that says “Do Not Share Me”. You’re trying to hard to be cute. Either that or you think we’re all stupid enough to NOT share your topic secret coupon code which 100,000 other people already know about. Oooo harvesting the power of subliminal messages in a not so subtle way. Bright!
Do not want dude, do not want.
Also please, stop sending “We Miss You” E-mails seconds after I load your website…..cookies is bad. I eats them for breakfast with milk! Imma block your cookies soon!
It always boggles my mind that folks don’t like scented skincare or lipgloss, etc…I’m not sensitive to these types of thing and absolutely love if my facial moisturizer is scented like strawberries or a banana split, obviously not but you’re getting the picture right?
Please do not buy us “guess what’s inside me” chocolates. We do not want to have to sit and bite into each piece playing a game of seek and find with really gross filling trying to find one we like. DO NOT WANT these types of chocolates.
Please do not buy us liquid, cream, or cherry cordial-like chocolates. Anything that squirts in our mouth when we bite into it just reminds us of Fear Factor, please don’t do this to us k? DO NOT WANT surprise juicy filling!
Please do not buy us cheap teddy bears or stuffed animals that sound like they make strange jingle, jangle noises when we move or shake them. We are scared to find out what the bear is stuffed with! DO NOT WANT bears stuffed with questionable stuffing.
Please do not buy us jewelry that’s gold-nique aka just as nice as gold but NOT really gold. DO NOT WANT fake jewelry you purchased on an end cap at Macy’s, this doesn’t count or gain you points.