Musings of a Muse

I use a Radius Toothbrush and get my fair share of weird looks when anyone I know sees it.

*shrug*

I guess it is kinda freaky looking!

But I’ll tell you one thing mine is normal compared to a Justin Bieber Singing Toothbrush.

Do not want!

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I question whether I need a gallon of anything called Supergoop.

Do not want.

That is all.

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Dear E.L.F.,

Do not want your silly subliminal messages e-mails. They piss me off.

k, thanks!

Seriously, they make me pissy when I get an e-mail with sale info that says “Do Not Share Me”. You’re trying to hard to be cute. Either that or you think we’re all stupid enough to NOT share your topic secret coupon code which 100,000 other people already know about. Oooo harvesting the power of subliminal messages in a not so subtle way. Bright!

Do not want dude, do not want.

Also please, stop sending “We Miss You” E-mails seconds after I load your website…..cookies is bad. I eats them for breakfast with milk! Imma block your cookies soon!

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My TV habits are completely odd and slightly grandmotherly in the fact that Charlie Rose and Masterpiece Theater are the highlight of my television lifestyle so reality TV, well, I just don’t get it.

My sister is obsessed with it on the other hand. Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, Survivor, the Next Apprentice…you name and she probably Tivo’s it.

I do, however, admit to youTubin’ Barrowman when he whores himself on Dancing with the Stars UK, it’s the highlight of my telly life seeing the man pimpin’ himself all over the BBC.

Speaking of Dancing with the Stars…do not want a Dancing with the Stars Turning Point Wig….why, Jebus, why!?

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It always boggles my mind that folks don’t like scented skincare or lipgloss, etc…I’m not sensitive to these types of thing and absolutely love if my facial moisturizer is scented like strawberries or a banana split, obviously not but you’re getting the picture right?

But some things probably shouldn’t be scented….

Do not want scented SPF.

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Oopsie! Nicole Kidman isn’t the only kid on the block with a really bad makeup artist in her midst. Ashley Judd was busy promoting her All That is Bitter and Sweet memoir this week but stepped out with a layer of powder under her eyes.

Do not want!

P.S. That damn white powder is so easy to over do, take it from an expert!

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I already worry about wrinkles under my eyes, borderline obsessed with it actually! And I’ll have to start worrying about facial wrinkles sooner or later…

But…

Do not want to have to worry about chest wrinkles too!

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Dear Stila,

Why are you trying to alienate me by including your new Red Carpet Ready Palette in your Makeup Player?

Do not want your Makeup Player but do want your Red Carpet Ready Palette.

Come on!

Jump!

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Please do not buy us “guess what’s inside me” chocolates. We do not want to have to sit and bite into each piece playing a game of seek and find with really gross filling trying to find one we like. DO NOT WANT these types of chocolates.

Please do not buy us liquid, cream, or cherry cordial-like chocolates. Anything that squirts in our mouth when we bite into it just reminds us of Fear Factor, please don’t do this to us k? DO NOT WANT surprise juicy filling!

Please do not buy us cheap teddy bears or stuffed animals that sound like they make strange jingle, jangle noises when we move or shake them. We are scared to find out what the bear is stuffed with! DO NOT WANT bears stuffed with questionable stuffing.

Please do not buy us jewelry that’s gold-nique aka just as nice as gold but NOT really gold. DO NOT WANT fake jewelry you purchased on an end cap at Macy’s, this doesn’t count or gain you points.

We do want fabulous beauty gifts….!

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Ahh presents! If you’re lucky your friends and family members know you well enough to get you just what you want. But…sometimes…even the people we love get it really, really, really….WRONG!

Here are the Top 10 Gifts that this Beauty Junkie does NOT want to get this Holiday Season!

Jump!

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I sadly don’t think I qualify as a cat person. Heck if I were one, I’d probably be ever so delighted over the new Paul and Joe Kitty Lipsticks right?

Wrong.

Do not WANT!

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