Bliss Lean Machine Vacuum Massager

It’s Bliss’s Lean Mean fat fighting machine vacuum. Like the George Foreman Grill this vacuum cuts the fat, cuts the oil, and trims the blubber…

I totes made all that up in a weak attempt to do a great infomercial for you!

What’s the Lean Machine Vacuum Massager really do?

It’s the only spa-powered system that combines a high-tech vacuum massager and a skin-firming cream to help smooth and tone skin to reduce the appearance of cellulite. It gives your legs and butt a more contoured look. *nods* Really….maybe, kinda, sorta…

I just don’t have the time to dedicated to such a machine. Imagine how horrifying it would be if your boyfriend or husband walked into the bathroom as you were vacuuming your cellulite?

How the hell do you explain that one pray tell?

Available now at Nordstrom.

  • 12/5/12 10:57 Michelle:

    Hahaha! I could totally imagine that – scary!

    Hubby walks in and…
    “What the HELL are you doing?! Theres something wrong with you (shakes his head and walks out of the bathroom).
    I’m all like, “Wha? Making my fat go away.”

    This scenario would be bad.


    • 12/5/12 11:03 the Muse:

      lol! I’d be all, “Imz in yur bathroomz vacuuming muh fatz” ;-D


  • 12/5/12 13:08 Kitten:

    I have to admit, this one seems all kinds of wrong… >_<


  • 12/5/12 13:39 Al:

    AHAHAHAHA!!! Oh Muse, you just totally made my day! :)


    • 12/5/12 13:47 the Muse:



  • 12/5/12 14:07 Sarah S.:

    I wouldn’t be embarrassed at all about vaccuuming my fat in front of my hubby, IF this sort of thing could work. I seriously doubt it!


  • 12/5/12 15:32 Karen M:

    LOL! If it were that simple to eliminate cellulite, every woman in America would have this thing in our bathrooms. Heck, I’d break out my Bissell. But sadly, no amount of message or creams can eliminate it. :-(


  • 12/5/12 16:58 BLee:

    LOL 😀 that is to much , Muse. Diet and exercise is beter than being caught in the bathroom sweeping fat.


    • 12/7/12 13:37 the Muse:

      sweeping fat might be easier?! ;D


  • 12/5/12 19:50 Miriam:

    lol…being married 14 years and doing all sorts of personal business in front of each other, sucking my fat out in front of my husband would be the least offensive thing I did…hahahha I’d put him to work and make him suck out my back fat! lmao


    • 12/7/12 13:21 the Muse:

      lol miriam sounds like true love!


  • 12/6/12 0:49 Daniela:

    Haha awesome!! “Honey can you come vacuum my ass fat..I can’t reach!!” “I could do yours when your done!..What?! What did I say…come back”


    • 12/7/12 13:20 the Muse:



  • 1/7/13 8:17 Girl with the red lips:

    I own it after I got it for a sweet price. To use the Fat Girl Slim lotion you have to massage it in so deep it breaks your knuckles! I ll let the machine take care of it now. The machine has tight suction for sure! I think I ll prob get my hubby to help lol. Just can t reach the top of my legs under my bum lol. Besides, I can return it if it doesn t work. I don’t have too much to contour but this will hopefully help smooth a bit.


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