April 26, 2021

Don’t Let Anyone Make You Feel Less Than You Are

Urban Decay Pandemonium Vice Lipstick

I wrote a post back in 2016 which you can read below that was directed at Aishwarya Rai Bachchan at the time. She was being trolled because she wore purple lipstick to the Cannes a few years ago. There was so much hate directed at her because she simply wore a certain color of lipstick.

I’m hauling out the article below because recently, much to my horror, I’ve seen so many awful comments on Tiktok. When I joined Tiktok on a whim last year during isolation and pure boredom at being home it was a really a safe haven. People were so positive and upbeat on Tiktok. It wasn’t as toxic as Facebook or angry as Twitter or judgemental as Instagram. Everyone seemed like a big, happy family. Until recently anyway. Now I read so many comments directed at some of my favorite Tiktokers and I cringe in horror and I hurt for them because having people throw crappy comments down is something I can relate to. Musings of a Muse is around since 2007 and I’ve had my share of hate. I’ve even cried over one or two things that have been said to me. I’ve developed a thicker skin after doing it so long and I try to let the negativity slide off my back nowadays. 99% of the comments and feedback I receive are amazing but they’ll be a troll or two that sneaks in to spread some suck all over the place.

Just remember……

Never let anyone dim your light. Never let anyone bully or shame you into believing you’re somehow doing something wrong because you made a fashion or makeup choice based off your own likes. Never let anyone make you feel less than beautiful.

Wear the purple lipstick, dye your hair hot pink, make Tiktoks dancing, post goofy selfies on Instagram, DO YOU and have fun. Don’t let anyone judge you or make you cry or make you think or believe you’re not beautiful or smart or funny….

You’re perfect just as you are.

Be good humans to yourself and to others.

The below article was written in 2016.

There’s so much hate and shaming and much of that sadly, stems from women shaming other women or bullying other women. Dude, we’re all sisters. WTH? I see it in youTube comments, I see it across forums, I see it right here on my blog where I’ll get comments pointing what someone doesn’t like about me or what I’m wearing, etc…etc…

The most popular excuse for this behavior is, “Well, she puts herself out there so she deserves it!” Wait, what!? What does that even mean? Someone deserves your hate because they “put themselves out there”. We’re strong, opinionated women we should put ourselves out there every single day of our lives without the fear of being torn down by others. We shouldn’t cower or shy away from expressing ourselves in any manner we choose. We’re all unique and we should embrace our uniqueness without worrying about someone thinking it is ok to shame us into believing we are somehow doing something wrong because we wish to express ourselves in any manner we choose be it blogging, wearing bright orange eyeshadow, or shaving our heads!

A hundred years ago, my dearest Auntie (not by birth but a very good friend of my mother’s) introduced me to the joys of Bollywood cinema (and damn fine Indian food too). 2001 was the year I fell in love with Shahrukh Khan and to this day the soundtrack to Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham plays a very important roll on my Itunes Playlist! It was also around this time that I developed a girl crush on Aishwarya Rai. I mean when I think of Aishwarya Rai, I instantly think of the most beautiful women in the world. She’s stunning! She could wear a paper bag and gym socks and she’d still rule the room.

That’s why I was very saddened to read an article recently about Aishwarya Rai Bachchan being trolled on Twitter because she decided to wear purple lipstick to Cannes. How the very dare she go outside the norm!? Sigh. It’s rather sad because both men and women took to Twitter to express their absolute hate of the shade and how ridiculous they felt she looked wearing! You can Google “Aishwarya Rai purple lipstick” and hundred of images will come up and most of them she looks as polished, posed, and incredible as she always does. Sure, purple is a little different for her but who cares? Maybe girlfriend woke up and decided, “I want to try something new today!” And she has that right. We ALL have that right to change up our look any way we want without having to fear that someone is going to have a sudden need to express how horrible they feel we look.

I’m not going to lie, I look like an idiot in purple lipstick. It’s not a shade I personally reach for and it’s not something I go out of my way to buy. But I’m not going to knock anyone else who wants to rock it. Don’t let anyone tell you what makeup you can and can’t wear. Actually don’t let anyone tell you how you can express yourself, what clothes you should wear, how you should talk, how you should do your hair.

Believe me, I would have stopped blogging a long, long time ago if I let every silly little comment get on my nerves. I feel comfortable and quite at home blogging beauty even if I’m not exactly the “ideal looking” beauty blogger. You either like me (thanks, because I like you too!) or you hate me (although I hope you don’t because we’re pretty much strangers and you don’t exactly know me well enough to hate me!) and that’s your choice but don’t rip me because I don’t live up to your expectations of what a beauty blogger should look like. I’m short, I’m chubby, and I like to eat lipstick ๐Ÿ™‚

And if Aishwarya Rai wants to walk around in that paper bag wearing gym socks and purple lipstick don’t rip her either. She knows what makes her comfortable, let her do her thing and may be pat her on the back for thinking outside the beauty box.

Remember, do what makes you comfortable! And don’t cry if someone decides to rip you a new one because they hate that about you. That’s their problem NOT yours!

Be yourself always.

Well, not always, if you can be Batman, be Batman. But any other time be yourself!

Everything else my dear, dear friends is cake.


About the Muse

Isabella MuseIsabella is just an average everyday geeky girl who doesn’t blend her eyeshadow correctly, wears too much blush, and hopes she never finds her holy grail products because she likes the thrill of the chase so much. Her mission is to bring you super honest reviews on makeup, skincare, fragrance and all things beauty. She’s in no way an expert on the topic and she sure as hell isn’t a super model. But she’s passionate about makeup and is seeking like-minded individuals that like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain, and ones that enjoy spending hundreds of dollars at Sephora without feeling buyer’s remorse. If you’re that person feel free to reach out and leave a comment or follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Bloglovin‘.

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  • Ann Marie

    AMEN!!!! Just love each other and everyone just do their own thing!!!!

  • Bluz

    Hear hear! I don’t understand the hate. It’s make-up and a fun way to express yourself. You’re not hurting anyone by wearing it and you can wash it off at the end of the day. I don’t know why people have to voice such negative opinions.

    • Isabella Muse

      Right? Why so much negativity jeez! It’s even people that do crafts or cooking or obscure things like dancing…everyone has such a negative opinion to share. If you don’t like something move on! Don’t sit there and leave rude comments!

  • Violet

    Yes! I totally agree with you! I’ve never understood why people enjoy being negative. It would be depressing for me to go around hating on trivial things or trying to hurt others. I try to be nonjudgmental & if I can’t, then I try to follow my mother’s philosophy: if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.

    • Isabella Muse

      It’s crazy…! I think I’d really be in a funk if I spent all day crapping all over people. Jeez…! I treat people the way I want to be treated with respect and kindness!

  • Susan

    If it’s a negative comment about Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, then I highly suspect it’s based on extreme envy/jealousy. Possibly one of the most beautiful women ever born. Now, go watch “Jodhaa Akbar” again!!! And I may not wear purple lipstick but I darn well wear purple nail polish if I feel like it, although some think it’s inappropriate for this old Boomer.

    • Isabella Muse

      Agreed! She is stunning! Yaass! Jodhaa Akbar was amazing! Pleazeee don’t let anyone tell you what to wear based off your age!

      • Jennifer F

        Thanks for re-sharing this post of positivity! I agree with it wholeheartedly! Let people live and express themselves as they wish. If you don’t like it, go somewhere else with your negativity.

        • Isabella Muse

          preach Jen preach ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you for reading it. You’re always such a light on my insta-feed ๐Ÿ˜€

  • OliveUnicorn

    Aw , thats too bad . I personally love that shade of purple and have various lipsticks that are at shade . It’s my go to bold lip color , and really purple is like my red is to everyone else . I think it flatters alot of skin tones and looks great when like me , have bright neon hair lol .

    • Isabella Muse

      I think I look silly but a lot of people look AMAZING in this shade ;-D and go on and rock your neon hair wahoo!

  • Diane

    There is just too much hate and anger and negativity going around. I cannot understand how it can bring any kind of joy to the person doing the hating. I have seen a lot of older women like myself wearing bright colored wigs. I myself like sparkly eye makeup. If it brings the wearer joy who are we hurting. It may bring a laugh to some people to see strange makeup and thats ok. But remember we are people with feelings. There is no need to be mean to anyone.

    • Isabella Muse

      100% Agreed. Wear what you want! You shouldn’t have to fear others making fun of you because you want to make a certain makeup or fashion choice!

  • Cameron

    Wonderful message! Thank you for posting this. I feel like we all need to hear this from time to time. It’s too easy to have your world get shrunk by mean spirited people.

    • Isabella Muse

      Aw my pleasure! We do! Sometimes we need a little nudge and a reminder that we’re wonderful regardless of what others are making us feel! <3!

  • Dee

    Love the article and this post. I will never, ever understand the need to knock someone and be negative or hateful. I really do think it’s a reflection of how that person feels themselves. But still no excuse! I like this color on you!

    • Dee

      Whoops, that should read, “I really do think it’s a reflection of how that person feels about themselves.”

    • Isabella Muse

      I sure hope no one is feeling so ugly they have to belittle others to life themselves up ๐Ÿ™ sigh! But that’s the way of the world I guess. Aw thanks Dee <3!

      • kjh

        Love it when you give us a dose of positivity. I think the now out-of-favor German term Schadenfreude covers this. Feeling good about negative things happening to others, putting someone down to feel better about yourself. What a terrible way to live. A two way affliction. So harmful to all.

        • Isabella Muse

          aww I hope it helps you keep your head up ;-D Agreed! 100% Agreed! It’s a shame some people feel the need to bring down others!

  • Sherri

    I’m actually obsessed with this shade you are wearing! What is it?

  • Penny

    The times we live in today make me feel so sad. ๐Ÿ™ When I was my daughter’s age (12) we had friends, loved each other and sure may have had a spat now and then, but overall everyone got along in school. Now days it is soooo hard being a tween/teen…young girls can be so mean to each other and it just saddens me. We are trying to raise our daughter to be a strong and independent girl and teach her to be a kind person who is beautiful on the inside. If someone speaks unkindly to her or about her, we just tell her that she doesn’t need those kind of people in her life and she definitely agrees.

    BTW, your purple lipstick would look great with my purple hair!! ๐Ÿ™‚ รขโ„ขยฅรขโ„ขยฅ

    • Isabella Muse

      It is very sad. So many younger children committing suicide due to bullying. It’s heartbreaking. Sounds like you’re doing parenting right Penny ๐Ÿ™‚ We need more parents like you to make sure their kids grow up well! Haha…! One day! I’ve done a blue streak or two but never purple! That might be something I need to do in the future!

  • Mary

    So glad you wrote this, and I would never have heard that great Bollywood soundtrack if you hadn’t.

    Have a great week, Muse, and thanks for being you!