January 11, 2022

Do You Gatekeep Your Favorite Fragrances?

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Are you a gatekeeper? Do you gatekeep your favorite fragrance or, gasp, your favorite makeup like concealer, foundation, or even blush?

I was watching Ghostbusters: Afterlife for the second time this weekend, sobbing my eyes out, because no spoilers, but, Spengler’s appearance made me think of my childhood and how I had (still have) the biggest crush ever on Egon Spengler and how he shaped the type of men I’m attracted to today.

I mean, really, the man had a brain the size of a small planet, great hair, and the cutest glasses plus he knew a hell of a lot about slime and loved Nestle Crunch Bars what’s not to love and aspire to?

Our rewatch also got me thinking of Louis Tully running around Manhattan saying, “I am the Keymaster are you the Gatekeeper?” Seriously, when I first saw the original Ghostbusters as a child it resonated with me so strongly. My city, cute nerdy men, ghosts, there was just so much to take in.

That all inspired this article. Several months ago I was reading this great article on Reddit about how people were sooooo upset at fragrance gatekeepers and how they felt it was petty behavior to gatekeep a favorite scent and I sat back and I thought to myself, “Have I gatekept my favorite scents?”

Not familiar with gatekeeping? Before I share whether I’m a gatekeeper maybe I need to explain how it works for those, not in the know.

Gatekeeping doesn’t discriminate! It takes on all aspects of life. Makeup, fragrance, accessories, shoes, purses, a favorite shirt or pair of jeans, etc…etc….etc…..But I think it probably bleeds most into fragrance since fragrance is such a unique experience.

Gatekeeping is simply defined as the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something. In other words, if you have a favorite fragrance and you consider it your own personal, signature scent chances are you’re really not wanting to give up the name which would enable others to smell like you.

Yes, it’s petty. Yes, it’s selfish. But it happens.

Someone did not do a good job gatekeeping Baccarat Rouge 540. The cat’s out of the bag on that one because everyone and their mother smells like BR540 nowadays. It’s the naughtiest and warmest of cotton candy blends and a must for gourmand lovers. It’s taken social media by storm and some really hardcore fragrance lovers aren’t happy the world now knows about it.

My above statement may be proof positive that I am a bit of a gatekeeper with scents. I beg forgiveness from the Gods for this as I know it’s wrong but I still do it. When I discover a unique fragrance I have a really hard time sharing it. I have a particular Arabian Oud scent that I love which shall remain nameless that I never share with anyone. It’s the most perfect white musk scent ever (that alone is a huge hint). It turns heads and makes people stop and tell me how incredible I smell. And most days, I’m very reluctant to share what it is. My own sister has been begging me for the name for a few years now and I still haven’t told her.

So, I’m guilty.

I’m a gatekeeper of my favorite fragrances and as much as it shames me I still do it.

Are you a gatekeeper?

Do you not share your favorite fragrance, concealer, foundation, or even those cute pairs of no-name flats you’re wearing and where you got them?

Do share!

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About the Muse

Isabella MuseIsabella is just an average everyday geeky girl who doesn’t blend her eyeshadow correctly, wears too much blush, and hopes she never finds her holy grail products because she likes the thrill of the chase so much. Her mission is to bring you super honest reviews on makeup, skincare, fragrance and all things beauty. She’s in no way an expert on the topic and she sure as hell isn’t a super model. But she’s passionate about makeup and is seeking like-minded individuals that like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain, and ones that enjoy spending hundreds of dollars at Sephora without feeling buyer’s remorse. If you’re that person feel free to reach out and leave a comment or follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Bloglovin‘.

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Comments

  • Jess

    I always share. If someone compliments me on something, I tell them exactly what it is. In all aspects of my life I try to follow “build a longer table, not a higher fence.” 🙂

    • Isabella Muse

      You’re wonderful! I aim to be just like you! I do tend to gatekeep my fav scents! Guilty!

  • Rina

    Depending on the scent, I might, just so I�m not price-shamed when they look it up. Yup, that�s happened�

    • kjh

      Hell, ya! I really do not want to be perceived as extravagant. (Despite Isabella saving me 50% on Creed, No one I know would spend the half-price.). At times I say s.t. like �I have a few cologne styles, might be Crabtree & Evelyn� rather than admit it was Millesime Imperial. For widely available scents, I usually identify and tell the store &/or discount. For houses like BPAL, so wide ranging with fun themes, I disclose and tell about the Imp�s Ears trial packs, so they can check it out and get a selection of their preferred notes.

  • Michelle

    I miss Harold Ramis too! I remember the old SCTV days with him as a host for “Dialing for Dollars” show in which never allowed anyone to win. SCTV was hilarious, and launched many careers.

    • Isabella Muse

      I don’t remember it but I have seen clips on youTube! Was a pretty funny skit 😀

  • Mary Brenner

    Here�s the thing. It�s a fragrance or a lipstick someone is asking about�� does it matter that a complete stranger may buy the same scent or lipstick or blush or shoes you are wearing? No it does not. Just tell them the brand and move on. If you get price shamed who cares it�s your money not theirs. Don�t we all have far more important things to worry about? People need to get over themselves and just enjoy the small things. Muse, tell your sister the name of your fragrance��.for Pete�s sake what is the big deal? How petty people can be over the stupidest things.

    • dia

      I understand what you are trying to say, but must you find the most offensive way of saying it? Talk about being petty about stupid things.

  • Debbie

    If someone asks, I will share what and where. If it is discontinued or no longer available I share that info as well.

  • jill

    isabella, you are pretty darn funny. you�ve now got half the women in the world madly googling, trying to find your gatekept secret!

    present company included.

    and we�ll all be going around smelling like…almost, but not quite…as you laugh demonically. ARGH.

    • Isabella Muse

      hehehehehe…..! You’ll find it. I trust you to do so and if you can’t I’ll tell you! Promise 😀

  • MDW

    This brings to my mind the movie, A Chorus Line. Specifically the T&A segment. I came to the conclusion Audrey Landers was cool like that in real life too.

  • Britni Lopez

    I absolutely gatekeep my perfumes, and idgaff why thinks it�s mean or petty. Someone advised you to tell your sister the name of the perfume because �how petty do you have to be?� My answer: VERY. I�ll share just about anything with anyone. I�ll share my clothes, money, even fries with you. But if you compliment my perfume, I say thank you and keep it pushing. Here�s one reason why I feel like this: scent is one of our strongest senses. Scent is the sense that most likely triggers memories. So, when I hooked up with an ex, I wore a special perfume purposely. I knew I smelled so good he was going to ravage me and I knew it would create a memory for him. The entire time we were together, like mid thrust, he was asking me what I was wearing, and I didn�t tell him. Now we�re both dating other people. If I told him, he might buy the perfume for his current gf. No, I won�t have that. He probably takes her to all the same places he took me, he probably does all the same things he did with me. This perfume is mine. He doesn�t get to share my perfume with her too. My perfume is already attached to a moment in time, and I plan on keeping it that way.

  • Catherine

    Hi Muse! Hope all is well with you. My answer is yes and no as to whether I am a gatekeeper with fragrance. The more mass produced, I.e. celebrity type perfumes, I readily share, but my more obscure/special scents, I keep to myself. I enjoy having certain bottles in my stash that I don�t smell on everyone else. I understand others see it as petty and I get it, but I like having a bit of uniqueness in my otherwise very conforming world (job constraints).

    And of course I tried googling your gatekeeper fragrance and have ideas, but nothing conclusive (but had fun learning about new possibilities purchases ).

    Thanks for your posts, I always enjoy reading them and people�s comments. Stay safe, happy and healthy!

    • Isabella Muse

      Agreed Catherine on all of that. I’ll share a more mainstream scent but I’m a little selfish with my more unique one! hehe it’s my little secret. Honestly, I’ve actually considered doing a review of it at some point so I might just reveal it soon! Thank you, Catherine! That means the world to me! truly. You stay safe and healthy too and I wish you much happiness in 2022.

      • Catherine

        Well if you do decide to share your secret, we will all be very excited (and probably proud owners of a new scent lol.) Plus I think I speak for most on this site, we love your reviews. Looking forward to whatever you chose to post in 2022!

        • Isabella Muse

          I’m def considering it hehe! Maybe in a future fragrance post deal? 😀 Thank you, Catherine! Truly that means so much to me. Sorry I haven’t been posting many reviews lately. Work has me crazy the last few months but hopefully 2022 will be more reviews and posts 😀 BIG hugs! Your comments made my day today!

  • Jennifer

    Not a gatekeeper of fragrance or beauty products (with the exception of one verrrry old perfume, but I just limit myself using it because it isn�t made anymore).
    However, I do gatekeep places. If I find a beautiful nature spot I don�t tell anyone for fear it will get spoiled.

    • Isabella Muse

      that makes perfect sense especially because people do tend to ruin perfectly beautiful places that nature has gifted us with!

  • MDW

    I’ve known some who excessively copy others and that could be problematic.

    My favourite type of fragrance, aldehydes, doesn’t suit my persona but warm fragrances are too heavy for me.

    • Isabella Muse

      Mmmm funny you said that I know of a community I was once part of where everyone was just duplicating a single person. It got downright annoying and a little weird!

      • MDW

        Fascinating and also makes me recall lots of examples of that. There was a Prince video where he had his backup dancers wear Cindy Crawford hair and very generic outfits. Similar with album covers back when Elvis became popular. Oh! And Farah Fawcett hair!