I Suffer the Fiery Pits of Mordor, I Mean Walmart, for This Deodorant
It isn’t any great secret I dislike Walmart with a passion. I’d liken it to the fiery pits of Mordor or Hell. I know how Frodo felt on his pilgrimage to Mordor, feverishly being drawn to that precious ring but really not wanting to trek through the ruins, fiery pits, and really gross, sticky web of Shelob. Sometimes I think I’d be right at home in Mordor but I think of Shelob and I realize it wouldn’t quite be home sweet home for this arachnophobic girl.
However, I would like to say there should be more mythos on Shelob. I mean girlfriend had, like, millions of babies why is there not more history about her? I mean she was there before Sauron she must have stories to tell. Plus, hello, her mother was Ungoliant, who was so insatiable she consumed herself. I don’t get it, if I were Shelob I’d be pissed at the lack of coverage.
Just think of me as Frodo as I’m drawn to Walmart when I really don’t want to go. I just hate Walmart it’s such a hot mess on so many levels that I won’t get into but I suffer it’s fiery pits and hot messes to purchase…
