Kylie Minogue Boards the Tardis and Ages a Few Years

For the past few years geeks within the US mourn the fact that Brits get a very special Christmas treat on the 25th.

No idea what they get on Christmas Day? That means you aren’t as dorky as the Muse is either that or you’re saying EASTENDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No it’s not Eastenders. *insert rolling eyes here*

They get a special Christmas episode of Doctor Who on the 25th of December. Damn lucky people. One more reason why the English should rule the Universe.

Since Billie Piper’s sad, sad exit (I’m still crying! I’m actually mourning for the loss of Camille Coduri aka Jackie Tyler more than anything else to be honest! I still say she’d have made a brilliant assistant in all her annoying glory!) from the show we’ve been treated to quite an array of woman traipsing through the Tardis as of late…hell even Catherine Tate and dare I say….Jennifer Saunders (Not as an assistant either my friends! I say no more for fear of ruining the surprise should it happen!).

Well, assistants come and go but the quirk of the Doctor always remains the same thankfully.

And why am I babbling about the good Doctor you might ask?

Yes let’s get to that shall we!

The Muse has scoured the undernet in hopes of locating the Christmas episode (The word on the street is Peter has recorded it for me! You remember Peter don’t you? If you’ve been with the Muse from the start you’ll know who I mean! If not click here and while you’re at it do a search for Peter and you should find a bit of info to appease!)

Well, sadly I haven’t really bothered looking hard enough but the moral of the story is that it’s quite possible that Jared Blandino may have gotten to the very cute Kylie Minogue (I’ve been told he has a special flare for aging the young!).

What.
in the.
World.

I seen the promo images for Voyage of the Damned and I must say they aren’t Kylie’s most flattering! I personally think she’s bloody gorgeous and looking quite suave for her age but whoever did her makeup and hair for the Who episode deserves to be shot down!

Granted the year is 1912, is that the year they said it was good to wash your hair with salad dressing? I can’t recall.

Seriously, her hair is a bird’s nest, rat’s nest, frizz a whizz special or whatever else you choose to call it! She quite looks like she has a wig on (and maybe does! I hope!).

Her makeup is quite ok but it appears they may have run out of concealer for both her and David!

In all seriousness I worship at the feet of David’s alter but god knows he looks much better with a pound of concealer on! I didn’t think anyone could take Tom Baker’s place in my heart as the Doctor but damn if David didn’t. But the sad, sad fact is David is quite pale and freckle laden. Which isn’t a bad thing but I’m so used to seeing the man with a ton of concealer on it’s sometimes shocking to be confronted with his real skin!

And Kylie my god the wrinkles and crow feet are scaring me. Someone hold me.

Did they run out of cash for this episode and couldn’t afford proper make-up artists? And the hair..my god the hair….

Ok so we should take into consideration that this is Doctor Who which means tons of running around after some aliens or creatures and Kylie’s hair probably suffered the consequences during all that action but I will say that Billie Piper never had a bad hair day so why should Kylie?!?!??!

David with his concealer firmly in place!
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Kylie needs some help here! The hair, my god the hair! Forget the face for now woman! Do something with her hair! King of Mods maybe?!
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David looking very scary minus his concealer and Kylie looking equally awful! Maybe the airbrush on photoshop was brokes!
08

David minus his concealer again! If I was him I’d sue BBC for posting these on the Internetz for all his adoring fans to see!
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Kylie looking very…um….unKylie-like!
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David looks ok thankfully but Kylie has had a better day here!
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Do click to enlarge some of these because they are seriously scary! Particularly this last one!

Kylie don’t quit your day job love! Thank god Who was a one offer because lord knows it aged you at least 10 years darling!

I apologize in advance for my cruelty but these images just shocked me straight out of my shoes! However, I will say that my schedule is clear if BBC is seeking a new assistant as the Doctor most certainly needs a Muse in the Tardis even if it ages me a a couple of years! I don’t mind, honest, swear, truly! I can live without concealer!

Kylie on a good day:

P.S. Lord knows I’ve dropped to my knees in thanks that John Barrowman didn’t decide to show up for this episode! Can you imagine what they’d do to him? I shiver in fear thinking about it!

  • 12/27/07 16:52 Row:

    Amen!

    Can’t get rid of her on British TV at the moment. She has had so much botox, I don’t know how she can have crows feet!

    Reply

  • 12/27/07 17:41 the Muse:

    lol! ME EITHER! She’s a very pretty woman but she has had some serious nips, tucks, and lifts!

    She really shows it in the Who eppy that’s for sure! They did nothing to flatter her good looks! just appears they ran out of concealer!

    Scary!

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  • 12/28/07 11:26 Lucy:

    you bad, bad DT fan!! He is perfection whether covered in concealer or not! I love to see those little freckles…yummy. Peter in Blackpool was his sexiest role IMO, and in that I’m pretty sure there was no makeup budget!!

    OTOH, I completely agree about Kylie (and her acting was not all that either, as you’ll see when you watch it.) She looked like a little old lady and lacked spark- can’t see why the Doctor would have gone for her. And yes, wow, she looked ancient. A bit of blusher would have done her the world of good!

    Reply

  • 12/28/07 11:33 the Muse:

    LOL Lucy!

    Truly I am the bestest DT fan in the world! I bow to his greatness! He outshines Tom Baker in the Muse’s eyes!

    Oh lord I didn’t think anyone had seen BlackPool but me!!!!!!!!! So wonderful! *happy sigh*

    I kinda sorta loved him in Cassnova too. Must be the sex..oops did I say that out loud?

    Really? was her acting that bad?! :( Any chemistry between her and david?!

    They really seemed to age her in it. She’s older yes for sure but a very attractive lady for 40. She’d had a nip and a tuck here and there but still looks quite good in my eyes. But the promo images from Who scared the beegees outta me! Bloody hell she looks ancient!

    Blusher would be good, bit of gloss, and alot of concealer!

    Thanks for your lovely comment Lucy ! I love hearing from my fellow beauty addicts and who fans ;)

    We get Torchwood Season 2 on January 26th and I’m rolling around in excitement!

    Reply

  • 12/28/07 11:35 the Muse:

    oh wait…lol correction! Yanks wouldn’t have seen Blackpool ;)

    *blush* I even have the soundtrack..shhh don’t tell anyone ;)

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  • 12/29/07 19:05 Lucy:

    Torchwood- yay!! DT and Captain Jack (together? yum…whoops, said it out loud ;) ) Enough of my fantasising…

    No Kylie/David chemistry unfortunately…you may disagree, but I just thought there is no way he would have fallen for her. Not her looks, her personality (cough *wet fish* cough) You know, as well as blusher etc, MOISTURISER would have been nice.

    Ohhh, Casanova- nice. Loads of hot DT action, just as I like it! And yay, you saw Blackpool! I am English so saw it over there, though I live in the US now, so miss my DT TV. (that isn’t an actual channel- heehee- though it should be!!

    Ok, you rock. DT, makeup obsession, we are twins! lol

    Reply

  • 12/29/07 22:55 the Muse:

    ‘ello lucy ;)

    Welcome back love ;) Thanks for the comment!

    Oh my Captain Jack and DT that’s a combo! Yummie ;) I said it out loud too and I’m proud hehe!

    Ew really? Well I’m kinda glad as she was look right proper heinous and the general idea of him having a bit of chem with her kinda turned me off some!

    LOL moisturizer would do well! She looked a bit dry around the gills ;)

    Oh Casanova was lovely wasn’t it?

    God. Must be so very difficult for you. Like being in a dessert without water. Being British here in the US and having to put up with our telly in comparison to what you can get back home must be a nightmare!

    I’d kill for more shows. BBC America just doesn’t fill the gap! I purchase DVD’s like crazy on Amazon UK to keep up with the latest as nothing on telly here appeals as much as shows and such from England!

    How long have you been in the US?

    DT TV..hm no complaints here ;) Can we have DT TV minus shirts?

    LOL ;) Indeed we are ;) Nothing like makeup and Doctor Who together! What a beautiful marriage that!

    btw Masterpiece Theater will have Billie Piper in the remake of Mansfield Park if you’re interested. Believe it’s on January 26th? Plus they are reruning the old Colith Firth Pride and Prejudice version. Another yummie man!

    Cheers!
    Happy New year!

    Reply

  • 12/30/07 14:48 Lucy:

    yes! Colin firth is also a piece of heaven.

    I do miss British TV…there is plenty I love about America, but TV is not one of them. BBC America tends to show the more shiteous programmes from the UK unfortunately. I have managed to get some from Netflix and my sisters sometimes send me stuff out. There is generally a lot on YouTube and, er, other places (ahem).

    I’ve been here on and off for almost 8 years…can’t believe it’s been so long.

    You love LUSH as well! Yahay! There is a LUSH shop right by my mum’s house so I look forward greatly to each visit home (not JUST for that of course, though it does help.) I am very sad and in need of help I suppose though, as in the weeks before I go home, I find LUSH starts appearing in my dreams. I need to get a life. Or Canada needs to reduce its prices. One of the other will do ;)

    Reply

  • 12/30/07 19:44 Beauty Alchemist:

    Hello there, happened upon this via your boxing day post via All laquered Up ( got that ?) LUV the Dr. and have for years, too many to list publicly, and happy too, to see it appreciated. I love DT, and yes my fav in line with Peter D, who I almost met once. Thankfully they finally found a good ( new )one :)
    hope he sticks around , and looking forward to that Christmas ep.( but not Kylie, she does little for me)

    Cheers

    Reply

  • 12/30/07 20:17 the Muse:

    ‘ello lucy, my sweet ;)

    Mmmm Colin Firth ;)

    I bet! Ya :( sadly BBC America does come out with the worst but I’m thankful for the good stuff at least. I tend to do alot of amazon uk orders for dvd sets to get the yummie bits!

    LOL Indeed *clears throat* thank goodness for those “other” places!

    Oh wow! 8 years is a while!

    I adore Lush ;) but only UK Lush! The stuff we have here is rubbish!

    and expensive as sin!

    LOL! Hey I dream of Lush nightly
    too lol!

    It’s much cheaper and fresher UK side so I order from Lush UK or I have friends ship it over as the stuff we have here is just NOT the same thing!

    Thanks again for your great comments ;)

    Reply

  • 12/30/07 20:21 the Muse:

    Hi Beauty Alchemist :)

    I’ve been a who fan for many a fine year as well :)

    Tom Baker is my fav but I must say that PD did a good job pulling off his version of Who! Retro a la 1980’s!

    From what I understand they may regenerate him in 2009 :( I hope that’s untrue ;(

    Looking forward to christmas eppy too minus Kylie lol!

    Thanks for the comment ;)

    Good to see another Who Fan!

    Reply

  • 9/16/10 6:57 Reed Devere:

    Kylie Minogue looks amazing with her 80’s attire. I support most of her albums. She is a good singer. I love her

    Reply

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