If you haven’t figured it out yet (You’re REALLY slow if you still haven’t noticed this) I’m short and round! This means society has fit me into cute little headings like “cute and chubby”, “big and beautiful”, etc…etc…

God lord….

Anyway, I decided a long time ago even though I didn’t win the looks/weight lottery I could still work around what I do have and try to glam it up as much as humanly possible (this stuff takes alot of work people! Hours actually!)!

Thankfully a few select shops have remembered us small, round chicks and decided that it was a good idea to invest some time into creating clothes for us! PHEW! Saved! One such shop goes by the name of Torrid! Thank you Torrid for remembering that all girls are not created equal and some of us are height challenged as well as blessed with wobble and jiggle! Torrid appears to want to keep the select few of my species happy by creating trendy little fashion bitlets for us!

Now Torrid is a problem for me, Yes Yes Yes! I know you’re asking yourself why I am already ranting when just two seconds ago I was raving! The problem is when I go into Torrid or happen to wander onto the website I end up coming away with more clothes that I don’t possibly need! I already have enough clothes and shoes to keep a small village warm for a few years! Adding more to that pile is pretty much like suicide!

Today, as I was happily sipping my cuppa, my genius, witty, clever mind decided that it might just be a good idea to have a look at Torrid’s website. Why not? What could it hurt? My feeble little mind convinced itself that since I’d be going to England either in August or this fall (hopefully sooner than later) I’d need new clothes! Now I never need an excuse for purchasing new clothes, shoes, accessories, or make-up but I had promised myself to calm my little self down and take a deep breath before purchasing stuff I don’t need! Now this never works as the little voices inside my head are strong with the force.

However, today the force was quite heavy and it convinced me that I did indeed need to have a few little items for my upcoming trip!

My tiny, really small, ickle, little order:

It’s rare that I like to wear a dress but occasionally you’ll see me flirting around with one! This order included quite a few dresses that I’ve been wanting to buy forever and today seemed a good day to do it!

Oh My God! I wanna twirl in this!

I already had the stockings, might as well get the skirt!

The moral of today’s blog kids is even if you’re a larger lady you can still have fun with your looks and be as fashionable as your heart desires (contrary to what society and the surgeon general says)! Work with your mama gave you!

Now…I need some new shoes…Hmmm……

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MAC Tendertones Color Story

Sexier on the lips than balm. Silkier than gloss. More protective than naked. A lipcolour that combines soft shine, easy glide, and double-smooth satin finish with an everyday sun protective formula. To treat your lips…Love ’em tender.

That blurb is taken directly from the MAC website and it’s the biggest crock of shit ever! Don’t you love when I’m being right properly unladylike with my colorful vocabulary? I know you adore it!

I gotta say I’m not big on the lip gelees, the lipglasses, and the glosses in general from MAC. I’m a MAC whore but I’ll go right ahead and diss the glosses from here to Central America. They don’t rock my world. Sticky, gooey, and just gross come to mind. Do I use them? Yea. Do I buy them? Yea. Why? I dunno, I’m sick, we established that already.

I do give a hearty thumbs up to MAC’s plushglass but that’s another story for another day as I say!

Now when I first heard about Tendertones I was excited (when don’t I get excited at the prospect of new gloss?)!

I think I idolized Tendertones to the status of Lancome’s Juicy Gelee Gloss! I was thinking smooth, glossy, wonderfully sheer color, moisturizing, porn star lips! (Did I just say porn stay? I guess I did. Deal with it!)

Nope. None of those things apply to this gloss. I should have known. I ended up purchasing 4 of the colors and although, they are happily making friends with the rest of the glosses in my collection, they are in no way a favorite of mine.

They are sheer. Very sheer. I expected some color. I was thinking I could apply without lipstain under it. Not happening. I need stain under the gloss otherwise I get plain fleshy colored lips with some sticky gloss slapped on. It’s sticky. Again, I should have known. It doesn’t surprise me. MAC always has a special knack for putting out the thickest, stickiest glosses around. I feel like my lips are glued shut wearing this stuff.

They smell yummie and they taste equally lovely but that’s about the only thing going for them! The pot is huge for the price another plus. To be honest while I was browsing them I was somewhat in awe and was almost to the point of purchasing the entire lot, because, again, I’m sick like that. But I’m glad I ended up with 4 colors and didn’t get too crazy. To be honest if you’re considering purchasing any, my strongest suggestion is just go with one. They are so sheer that they all go on as the same color. So really, you may well be blinded with the array of colors on display but it doesn’t matter which you choose, all go on the same clear way! Boring Boring Boring!

Low rating for me. Not interested at all. They’ll end up in the bottom of my traincase and one day I’ll pull them out and sell them on E-bay or swap them away on make-up alley.

Not good at all.

Good try MAC but keep trying!

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Behold…….

My New Shu Curler!

The Mercedes Benz of Eyelash Curlers!

I’ve read so many reviews about this curler over the course of the last two years that I can write a book about it! I’m blogging to tell you that IT IS all THAT and a bag of chips!

This freaking thing is amazing! I got it in the mail today and I’ve been happily twirling around with it for the better half of an hour! I may never need to use mascara again (I’m exaggerating and getting caught up in the excitement of course)!

I’ve used so many curlers that have promised me no pinch, perfect fit and all of them fail! The curler I’ve been using for the past year or so was purchased at Sephora and…mmmm it’s ok. It’s nothing to write home about.

I don’t know why I never bothered ordering the Shu Uemura one. Customer Service knows me by name by now after the amount of orders I’ve placed but not ONCE had I thought to add this gorgeous tool into my shopping cart! Best money I’ve ever spent in my life! Truly!

I can understand what it’s prefered by Asian girls. It really has a good straight line and fits the contour of the eye perfect. You can get it super close to your lash line, press down super hard, and no pain, no pinch just perfect full lashes each and everytime!

There is a downfall friends. They only give two replacement pads. Once you go through both pads you have to shell out money for an entirely new curler. Really though one pad should get you through 2 years or so….and on the bright side I hear Shiseido’s replacement pads fit into this curler so that’s a plus.

It’s been a while since I’ve been so impressed with a tool and this is now on my list of awesome items that I can’t do without!

What’s that you say? Did I just order the curler? Come on now…you know me…..I couldn’t just buy the curler.

I got some lovely blushes and a rogue unlimited because really you can never have too many Shu blushes! As for rogue unlimited I’m surprised I even located a color that I don’t already own ! I’m so digustingly diseased it’s not even funny anymore, I just can’t help myself !

My Entire Order Minus The Blessed Curler

Thank You Mister Shu Uemura I bow down to your greatness once again!

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Quite the understated pink for me this bright, sunny day!

Eyes:
MAC Eyeshadow in Scene 1 (in the V of the Eye)
MAC Eyeshadow in Whistle (as a base)
Urban Decay Eyeshadow in SWF (Over Scent 1 and Whistle)
Dior Pearl Shadow Collection (in the Crease)
Smashbox Soft Lights in Halo (Lining the bottom Lashline)
Urban Decay Shimmering Body Powder in Marshmallow and Pink Lemonade (Over entire look and blended in for sparkle)
Victoria’s Secret Loose Sparkling Diamond Powder (on the Highbrow as a Highligter)

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Big T may very well be my new favorite shadow! It’s quite kicky and could be a great Parrot wanna be!

I Big T!

What I Used:
MAC Eyeshadow in Big T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MAC Eyeshadow in Aquadisiac
Sephora Colorful Mono Shadow in Strass N 01
MAC Shadow in Forgery
Mark I Glitter Pencil in Art Star
Dior Show Mascara

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